Steve who?

Cap:  "No, I'm not Steve Trevor, but my name is also Steve. Steve Rogers.  This has to be some kind of coincidence. You don't know any Marthas, do you?"

Force-sight

"Han, stop pestering the baby!  I swear, you keep it up and one of these days Ben is going to put a lightsaber right through your chest."

Invisible Touch

Batman:  "So, for your Christmas present, Diana, we all pitched in and got you this invisible jet.  Right guys? *snicker*  Right???"

Jingle Bells, Batman Smells…

Robin: "Hey now! The Batmobile may have lost it's wheels and the Joker just got away, but I DID NOT DO THIS!"

Shhh!

Hawkeye:  "Yes, Cyborg, I'm not actually Green Arrow.  Just don't say anything and no one will notice, okay?"

Playtime

Flash:  "Where does he get those wonderful toys?"

Dinnertime!

The rest of the gang got a little concerned for how enthusiastic Drax was looking forward to Thanksgiving dinner.

Interchangable

Ego: "Son, that's not a very nice thing to do, pulling guns on your old man. Don't make me put on my grumpy face."

Stan Lee, R.I.P.

December 28, 1922 – November 12, 2018

Pop Goes the Volleyball

Iron Man: "Maybe this game isn't for you, Hulk. You're taking it a bit too seriously. And yelling out 'Hulk SMASH!' at the net isn't helping."

Doctor Octopus: Perv?

Black Widow:  "Don't even think about it, pervert."

Smashing Pumpkins

Spider-Man:  "That's kinda low, Mr. Stark.  You know, decorating for Halloween by putting out a statue of my enemy, the Green Goblin?"

Seeing is Believing

"Thor!  What happened to the eye-patch?  I heard you were missing an eye."
"I was granted one by a talking rabbit in outer space."
"Okayyyyy…."

Shock to the Heart

Carnage: "C'mon, Shocker!  Get over here and save Vulture's life!  What good is the name Shocker if you can't use those things as cardiac defibrillators?"

Klepto-Amazon

Cap:  "So YOU'RE the one who took my shield!  Give it back!  Next thing you know, you'll be wanting to steal my motorcycle!"

Mah Na Mah Na!

Amanaman:  "Dudes!  My name is Amanaman, NOT Manamana.  And I'd appreciate it if you don't play that song ever again!"

The Color of Shadows

"Hey!  Check it out!  When my shadow is cast in the snow, it's blue!"
"Doug, you've been in the Snowtrooper division for over five years, and you just realized this now???  If I could turn my head, I'd be shaking it at you."

CUT!

Director:  "Whoa!  Hey, guys, off the set!  Sorry, but we need the new guys, not your 1980-ish figure design."

Tis But a Scratch!

"'She won't get a scratch,' huh?  Then what the heck do you call this, Lando?  Do you have any idea how hard it is to find round radar dishes anymore???" 

GROOT! (Stop It Now)

Rocket: "Then I rolled Groot over and underneath was a tiny little stick.  And I was like, "Groot had a child!"

Work It Out

Carnage:  "So, since we're both Spider-enemies, I was hoping you could give me a few tips on a work-out plan?   Please?"

When T'Challa talks, people listen

Black Panther:  "Gentlemen, please!  My net worth is over $90 trillion.  You're… what... $9.2 billion and $12.4 billion, respectively?  Seriously, you both need to reconsider your investment strategies."

I'm Mary Poppins, Y'all!

"Okay, Yondu, I think you're taking this 'Mary Poppins' thing a little too far."

Fair Fight

"Hey, wait a minute, Black Widow!  That's a little unfair when all I have are metal swords and you have lightsabers, don't you think?!"
"What?  These aren't…. *sigh*"

We're a happy family....

"I am Groot."  "Yes, I can see that his face is purple."  "I am Groot."  "Hey, there's a lot of reasons why that could be, Groot, but I don't think it's because he's related to Barney."

Tongue Tied

"Venom… dude.  Let's keep the tongue in, huh?  You put Gene Simmons to shame."

Stand-In

Stark: "Hey, just a minute. You, with the pitchfork. You don't belong here!"
Aquaman: "Thor is off-world at the moment, so I'm his stand in. Aw, c'mon, guys! I'm just as much of a redneck comic relief as he is. Give me a chance!"

Piano Man

It didn't take long for Quark to regret his decision to bring a piano into the bar when Rom took the opportunity to play his rendition of Billy Joel's "Piano Man".

"Spoooooon!"

The evening came to an abrupt end when Morn, drunk from five straight bottles of Aldebaran whiskey, stuck a spoon to his forehead and started mocking Dukat.

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Picard: "Yes! In the 24th century, they don't care whether you have hair or not!"

Black Plague

Guinan: "Not only was it a senseless death, but you were killed by a mixture of black ink and Metamucel."

Alien Encounter

Rom: "Get away from him, you b… ummm, nevermind!"

One-Track Mind

"HUMANS PLAY DAMJOT?"  "Sorry, we're playing pool."  "DAMJOT?"  "No…pool."  "DAMJOT."  *sigh*

Mirror Mirror

"Illogical.  I just shaved, yet my reflection has a goatee?"

Dental Hygiene

"Yes, your secondary mandibular canines are coming in quite nicely.  Just remember to keep brushing and flossing at least once a day."

It's fun to stay at the...

Smelly Situation

"Hold it.  Guys?  I thought I was supposed to be loading this thing with gunpowder and rocks.  These things look like little balls of poo. (pause)  Heyyyyy...wait a minute...."

Invisible Dog on a Leash

Quark: "Can you believe it, Odo? They were practically GIVING these poor invisible dogs away at the Bajoran festival!"
Odo: "Quark, I think there's something you should really know...."

Rare?

Picard: "Tasha! You're... you're...."
Tasha: "Hold it, hold it! I know what you're all thinking.  No, I am NOT the limited edition 1701 Series Tasha Yar."

Targ Trouble

"I'd really like it if someone else would clean up all the targ poop just for once!"

Squabble

Sarek: "I don't want to hear it."
Spock: "But father...."
Sarek: "Talk to the hand, Spock."

Short Shot

Sisko: "Quick, Bashir! Shoot him!"
Bashir: "I'm trying, sir, but for some reason the phaser beam only shoots out two feet!"

Cloning Around

Picard: "Number One, you have the bridge until we can find out what to do about this cloning problem."

Pull!

Zek: "Here, boy, let me show you a little trick.  Pull my finger!  C'mon, pull it...pull it!"

Alternate ending for "Star Trek: Generations"

Riker: "I had always hoped I'd get a shot at this chair one day."
Picard: "Well, Will, it's your lucky day, because now it's all yours! Congratulations!"

Trading Places

"No, we are NOT going to switch sides, Worf!  My Sleep Number® is a 40 and yours is an 80!"

Indigestion

Doctor: "Next time, Mr. Neelix, you had better leave out that secret ingredient of yours when cooking for the crew."

Skirt the Issue

"Bones, I hope these mini-skirt uniforms never go out of style!"

Promoted to Unemployment

"WHAT? I finally get my own command, and then they announce the end of the Next Generation movies? What's up with THAT??"

Color Correction

"Umm... thanks, Dad. I always wanted a... green... baseball glove."