Saturday, December 30, 2017

Bad Luck

"I'm telling you, Scotty, after getting my arm fried in the Weeger Incident, a Ceti Eel put in my ear by Khan, and falling off a nuclear wessel in the 20th century, I'm beginning to think that bad things von't happen to me anymore!"

Saturday, December 23, 2017

Tea Time

"Another box of Earl Grey tea.... Well, thank you for the Christmas gift, Mr. Data. You do realize that I can replicate a hot cup of tea at any given moment though, right?"

Saturday, December 16, 2017

Lost scene from "Star Trek: Generations"

"Well, Deanna, it figures. We finally let you steer the ship and just look at what happens!"

Saturday, December 9, 2017

Wrong Relic

Vorgon: "Tox Uthat?  Oh no, no, no.  You can have this back.  I'm searching for a Horga'hn here on Risa.  I have a hard time 'scoring' in the 27th century."

Saturday, December 2, 2017

Migrain Moment

"Need Exedrin...excruciating headache...head going to explode...."

Saturday, November 25, 2017

Orville Be Consequences

Picard: "Ensign, just because I happen to be sharing command with Dr. Crusher because most of the rest of the crew has been incapacitated is NOT a valid reason for calling our ship the Orville!  Now stop snickering and set a course."

Saturday, November 18, 2017

Laser Phase

Pike: "Hold on. Spock, what the hell are we doing using laser pistols? Didn't phase pistols exist back in Captain Archer's time, but we're using only lasers now??"

Saturday, November 11, 2017

Pink Slip

"So, after thorough consideration, we're eliminating your job here on the Enterprise-E. We've determined that a bar is not necessary on the ship and… What the hell am I talking about?! Get your butt down to the NEW Ten Forward, Guinan!"

Saturday, November 4, 2017

Halloween Hunger

Joker: "Trick or treat!  Smell my feet!  Give me something good to eat!  Ah ha!  Ha!  Ha!  Haaaa!" 
(Bonus points if you read that in the voice of Mark Hamill's Joker)

Saturday, October 28, 2017

Fat Man and Batman

After the disappearance of the ball, a time-out was called during the annual DC Kick Ball Tournament to determine if the Penguin was secretly concealing it under his shirt or if he was really that fat.

Saturday, October 21, 2017

No Capes!

"Ah, Batman, how about we go without our capes the next time it's windy out?"

Saturday, October 14, 2017

Creepy Penguin

"I see your umbrella is a bit small.  Here, come under my multicolored umbrella with me, my dear."

Saturday, October 7, 2017

Big Ring

"I'm telling you, Barry, I think I overcharged my ring, and this is the only part of my body that it will fit on!"

Saturday, September 30, 2017


Picard: "WORF! That's not what I meant when I ordered you to 'Fire at WILL!'"

Saturday, September 23, 2017

Mistaken Scientist

"No, Data, this isn't Doc Brown from 'Back to the Future'. This is our father, Dr. Soong!"

Saturday, September 16, 2017

Licensed to Fail

Bashir: "Well, if a certain toy manufacturer wouldn't have lost their license before making an Ezri figure, I wouldn't BE in this predicament!"

Saturday, September 9, 2017

Poker Pimp

Riker knew he was in danger of losing all of his poker winnings when Data broke out his purple 'pimp' hat and started dealing.

Saturday, September 2, 2017


"Spock, you have to do something! Jim thinks he's someone called 'The Fonz', and he's gone out of control!"

Saturday, August 26, 2017

The Dilemma

"To open or not to open? That is the question, Will."

Saturday, August 19, 2017

Chop Chop

Due to illness, the part of Mr. Mott the Barber will today be played by Mr. Gowron the Klingon.

Saturday, August 12, 2017


"Very good, Kes. Now, let us see if you can mentally put OUT the fire in my hair."

Saturday, August 5, 2017

All Seeing

Geordi: "What? What do you see? Q's judgment court?"  Picard: "No...there's dead people all around us, and they don't even know that they're dead!"

Saturday, July 29, 2017

Chalk One Up

"No no, Tuvok! You use the chalk on the end of the pool cue, not your finger!"

Saturday, July 22, 2017

Landspeeder Problems

Riker: "I know, I know! I just can't figure it out. The instructions say you can stick your robot in the back end, but Data just flies off every time I get going!"

Saturday, July 15, 2017

The Power of the Pah Wraiths Compels Him

"Yes, KNEEL before Zod!  I mean…Dukat.  Kneel before Dukat, Benjamin!"

Saturday, July 8, 2017

You've Got Mail!

Worf was NOT amused when the other DS9 crewmembers pooled together their resources and got him an Orion mail-order bride.

Saturday, July 1, 2017

Red Shirt

Kirk: "Well, you know, Scotty, technically you ARE a 'red shirt'."

Saturday, June 24, 2017

Talk Talk Talk

Kirk: "Negotiation?! What's all the talk for? Fire the damn torpedoes, already!"

Saturday, June 17, 2017

Low Entry

"I guess they don't make shuttlecraft doors as tall as they used to, eh Number One?"

Saturday, June 10, 2017

Cue the Photo

"And this is our new Romulan nemesis, Shinzon. You can tell he's a clone of myself because, like me, he is a drop-out of the Intergalactic Hair Club for Men."

Saturday, June 3, 2017

Fire Drill

"Spock, the next time you feel like calling a 'Chinese fire drill', DON'T!"

Saturday, May 27, 2017

Overdue Promotion

In an act of desperation and total insanity, Harry decided to promote himself by secretly stealing everyone else's rank pips overnight.

Saturday, May 20, 2017

Meanwhile, Down at the Beach

"Guys! Over here! Thanks to my Tandy® Metal Detector attachment, I think we've struck it rich!"

Saturday, May 13, 2017

Lil' Rascals

Paris: "Okay, for this holo-deck adventure, I'll play the part of Spanky, Harry will play the part of Alfalfa, and you'll be Buckwheat."

Saturday, April 29, 2017

Take a Stand

Doctor: "What do you mean, 'Get on this plastic stand'? I'm a doctor, not an action figure!"
Paris: "Um...Doc...."

Saturday, April 22, 2017


"Spock! What are you doing in your 'Motion-less Picture' uniform? Get with the times!"

Saturday, April 15, 2017

Game Day

Riker: "So, no one tell, but the game we're playing for this LAN party is Star Wars Battlefront.  We don't need those Star Trek Online people knowing about this, right?  Right!"

Saturday, April 8, 2017

Time and Time Again

"I knew that I was moving back and forth through time, but were we actually all supposed to MEET at the same time??"

Saturday, March 25, 2017

It's a Small World, After All

Riker: "WORF!!!"
Geordi: "Worf, you just killed Duras! What are you going to do now???"
Worf: "I'm going to Disneyworld!"

Saturday, March 18, 2017

Sharp Dressed Men

Shocked into speechlessness, the Enterprise officers, all in their dress uniforms, watched as Lwaxanna Troi broke into a dance while singing ZZ Top's Sharped Dressed Man.

Saturday, March 11, 2017

Poor articulation, or….

Trelane: "Very well. I will allow you and your shipmates to leave on one condition: Give me some Ex-Lax. I'm sooo constipated."

Saturday, March 4, 2017

The Hunter of...?

O'Brien: "Wait a minute. I thought you were the Hunter of Tosk, not the Hunter of Tusk!"

Saturday, February 25, 2017

Baby's in Black

"Wow, Keiko! This outfit of yours is really...wait a minute. You're not possessed again, are you?"

Saturday, February 18, 2017

Klingon Reversion

Kang: "Come on, Koloth! Time for you to have your Klingon forehead put back in. The doctor is already done with Kor, and you're next!"

Saturday, February 11, 2017

Fashion Show

"And here we have the Andorian wearing the latest fashion fur from Rigel II!"

Saturday, February 4, 2017


"Umm...this is actually easy to explain, Odo. See, Julian and I were throwing darts in Quark's when Worf stepped in the way and...well...."

Saturday, January 28, 2017

Saturday, January 21, 2017

Magic Rikers

Finally setting their differences aside, Will and Tom Riker capitalized on their "stud" status and opened up their own male dance club.