Saturday, December 26, 2015


"Dammit, Spock! Turn that thing off and get some rest!"
"One moment, Doctor. I know there has to be some logic to it."

Saturday, December 19, 2015

Egg Nog?

Quark: ""No, no, people! I didn't actually make this egg nog out of NOG! He's around here somewhere! I promise!"

Saturday, December 12, 2015


Picard: "You're all in line to see 'Star Wars: The Force Awakens'?? This is mutiny!"
Worf: "Yes sir, I guess it is."

Saturday, December 5, 2015

Revenge is a dish that is best served flashy

Going on the Klingon proverb that "A thousand throats may be cut in one night by a running man," Gowron enlists the aid of a known speedster to get his revenge on the dealers who bought up all of the Hallmark Star Trek Christmas ornaments.

Saturday, November 28, 2015

That's Judge Q to you!

"What you are witnessing is real. The participants are action figures. They are actual litigants with a case pending in a Federation court. Both parties have agreed to dismiss their court cases and have their disputes settled here, in our forum: The People's Court."

Saturday, November 21, 2015

Black Friday Rage

"What do you mean you have no more of the Hallmark Star Trek Christmas ornaments in stock?! Those p'tach dealers! I'll see to it that they pay for this outrage!"

Saturday, November 14, 2015

Virus Alert!

Unhappy with the number of scenes he had been getting on Action Trektion, Ensign Wesley Crusher took it upon himself to plant a virus in the producer's computer. Eventually, Wes' tampering came to an abrupt halt upon the case being solved, and he was executed by being thrown to the neighbor's dog.

Saturday, November 7, 2015

See 'em at the Museum

"And now, ladies, we come to the best part of the James T. Kirk Museum, the ‘Killed by Kirk’ wax figure display. Here we have Khan Noonien Singh. Oh man...I wish I could have seen the look on his face when the Enterprise went into warp right before he thought he was going to kill me with the Genesis Device! HA! HA!"

Saturday, October 31, 2015

Trick or Treat?

Gowron: "What is this? Candy? Where are the targ-hearts and wrapped gagh?! This had better be some kind of Halloween trick, you p'tach!"

Saturday, October 24, 2015

Green 'n Lean

Pike: "WOW, Honey! I know this is only your costume for Halloween, but you can wear this one ANY night!"

Saturday, October 17, 2015

Data Fail

Riker: "You mean you're going trick-or-treating as your brother Lore? That's pretty lame, Data."

Saturday, October 10, 2015

Assimilation is Futile

Picard: "Oh come now, Guinan! This is only my Halloween costume! I haven't actually been assimilated again!"

Saturday, October 3, 2015

Party 'till it Hurts

It seemed that no one could ever beat him in the "best costume" contest held at the annual Halloween party, but Picard would be the first to admit that getting into his Locutus costume and wearing it for hours really gave him a headache.

Saturday, September 26, 2015

More Power

"Perhaps we might have more power if Mr. Scott would hook your mouth up to the generator, Doctor."

Saturday, September 19, 2015

Caffeine Fix

"LaForge to bridge. I think I’ve found why we can’t make warp 7, Captain. It seems someone added decaffeinated dilithium rather than regular."

Saturday, September 12, 2015

V'Ger Incident

" it? This is what we’ve come all this way for, attacked us, trapped us inside some cloud, and is now going to destroy the Earth?? Some cheap satellite that can break apart with the slightest touch of a hand? Jim, I think we’ve been had."

Saturday, September 5, 2015

Colored Weaponry

"I can see that you're a very selective customer. How about the brown colored bat'telh? It would certainly fit your style better than the turquoise one. Or maybe something in a bright purple would suit your needs?"

Saturday, August 29, 2015


The crowd welcomed Joan Collins to the red carpet enthusiastically, but one certain alien seemed just a little too friendly for her tastes.

Saturday, August 22, 2015

Freeze Frame

"Course set? Then make it s...wait a minute. How long is this Romulan Warbird going to keep getting in our way? Ensign Crusher, set ANOTHER course away from that ship!"

Saturday, August 15, 2015


At first, Deanna was very concerned about Will's multiple transporter accident doubles. However, she couldn't help but blush as she sensed that they were each thinking the same thing that she now was thinking.

Saturday, August 8, 2015

Bad Date

If they had not all been there, they would not have believed it for themselves. The Intergalactic Dating Network had somehow...SOMEHOW...set up poor Morn with one Dr. Katherine Pulaski.

Saturday, August 1, 2015

Cmdr William T. Riker, Code Name: Wet Willy

Everyone was always at a disadvantage during the Enterprise's annual squirt gun war when Commander Riker would bring out his Super Soaker 100.

Saturday, July 25, 2015


"I’m sorry sir, but give me a minute before I transport you. These controls are a little tough to move for a figure of my size."

Saturday, July 18, 2015

Wait...what did he call me?

"I canna believe you can be so bloody deaf with ears like that. I said I wanted the red crystals! Only an idiot would settle for less!"

Saturday, July 11, 2015


"Now, class, when starting on a puzzle as complex as this one, we must first find the dots numbered 1 and 2. And remember this: the line must be drawn HERE! No further!"

Saturday, July 4, 2015

Did You Know?

Garak: "Did you know that Geiko can save you up to 15% on insurance?"
Odo: "No, but did you know that Cardassians look like they have spoons in their foreheads?"

Saturday, June 27, 2015

Defiant Play

Weeks later, those present could still swear that this moment was the first one in which they ever saw a shape-shifter blush as they caught Odo playing with his toy replica of the Defiant, him flying it around the room going "Swoosh! Swoosh! Zap zap zap zap... KABOOM!"

Saturday, June 20, 2015


Picard: "It appears we each narrowly escaped contracting the mad-growth virus, isn't that right Number One? Number One? Geordi, Worf, please tell me if I was wrong in that observation and if I'm about to be assaulted."

Saturday, June 13, 2015

Communication Problems

McCoy: "Dammit, Spock, get over here and help us! It's your fault that we all got shrunk down to the size of action figures!"

Welcome to Action Trektion v2.0!