Saturday, December 29, 2018

Steve who?

Cap:  "No, I'm not Steve Trevor, but my name is also Steve. Steve Rogers.  This has to be some kind of coincidence. You don't know any Marthas, do you?"

Saturday, December 22, 2018


"Han, stop pestering the baby!  I swear, you keep it up and one of these days Ben is going to put a lightsaber right through your chest."

Invisible Touch

Batman:  "So, for your Christmas present, Diana, we all pitched in and got you this invisible jet.  Right guys? *snicker*  Right???"

Saturday, December 15, 2018

Jingle Bells, Batman Smells…

Robin: "Hey now! The Batmobile may have lost it's wheels and the Joker just got away, but I DID NOT DO THIS!"

Saturday, December 8, 2018


Hawkeye:  "Yes, Cyborg, I'm not actually Green Arrow.  Just don't say anything and no one will notice, okay?"

Saturday, December 1, 2018


Flash:  "Where does he get those wonderful toys?"

Saturday, November 24, 2018


The rest of the gang got a little concerned for how enthusiastic Drax was looking forward to Thanksgiving dinner.

Saturday, November 17, 2018


Ego: "Son, that's not a very nice thing to do, pulling guns on your old man. Don't make me put on my grumpy face."

Monday, November 12, 2018

Saturday, November 10, 2018

Pop Goes the Volleyball

Iron Man: "Maybe this game isn't for you, Hulk. You're taking it a bit too seriously. And yelling out 'Hulk SMASH!' at the net isn't helping."

Saturday, November 3, 2018

Saturday, October 27, 2018

Smashing Pumpkins

Spider-Man:  "That's kinda low, Mr. Stark.  You know, decorating for Halloween by putting out a statue of my enemy, the Green Goblin?"

Saturday, October 20, 2018

Seeing is Believing

"Thor!  What happened to the eye-patch?  I heard you were missing an eye."
"I was granted one by a talking rabbit in outer space."

Saturday, October 13, 2018

Shock to the Heart

Carnage: "C'mon, Shocker!  Get over here and save Vulture's life!  What good is the name Shocker if you can't use those things as cardiac defibrillators?"

Saturday, October 6, 2018


Cap:  "So YOU'RE the one who took my shield!  Give it back!  Next thing you know, you'll be wanting to steal my motorcycle!"

Saturday, September 29, 2018

Mah Na Mah Na!

Amanaman:  "Dudes!  My name is Amanaman, NOT Manamana.  And I'd appreciate it if you don't play that song ever again!"

Saturday, September 22, 2018

The Color of Shadows

"Hey!  Check it out!  When my shadow is cast in the snow, it's blue!"
"Doug, you've been in the Snowtrooper division for over five years, and you just realized this now???  If I could turn my head, I'd be shaking it at you."

Saturday, September 15, 2018


Director:  "Whoa!  Hey, guys, off the set!  Sorry, but we need the new guys, not your 1980-ish figure design."

Saturday, September 8, 2018

Tis But a Scratch!

"'She won't get a scratch,' huh?  Then what the heck do you call this, Lando?  Do you have any idea how hard it is to find round radar dishes anymore???" 

Saturday, August 25, 2018

GROOT! (Stop It Now)

Rocket: "Then I rolled Groot over and underneath was a tiny little stick.  And I was like, "Groot had a child!"

Saturday, August 18, 2018

Work It Out

Carnage:  "So, since we're both Spider-enemies, I was hoping you could give me a few tips on a work-out plan?   Please?"

Saturday, August 11, 2018

When T'Challa talks, people listen

Black Panther:  "Gentlemen, please!  My net worth is over $90 trillion.  You're… what... $9.2 billion and $12.4 billion, respectively?  Seriously, you both need to reconsider your investment strategies."

Saturday, August 4, 2018

I'm Mary Poppins, Y'all!

"Okay, Yondu, I think you're taking this 'Mary Poppins' thing a little too far."

Saturday, July 28, 2018

Fair Fight

"Hey, wait a minute, Black Widow!  That's a little unfair when all I have are metal swords and you have lightsabers, don't you think?!"
"What?  These aren't…. *sigh*"

Saturday, July 21, 2018

We're a happy family....

"I am Groot."  "Yes, I can see that his face is purple."  "I am Groot."  "Hey, there's a lot of reasons why that could be, Groot, but I don't think it's because he's related to Barney."

Saturday, July 14, 2018

Tongue Tied

"Venom… dude.  Let's keep the tongue in, huh?  You put Gene Simmons to shame."

Saturday, July 7, 2018


Stark: "Hey, just a minute. You, with the pitchfork. You don't belong here!"
Aquaman: "Thor is off-world at the moment, so I'm his stand in. Aw, c'mon, guys! I'm just as much of a redneck comic relief as he is. Give me a chance!"

Saturday, June 30, 2018

Piano Man

It didn't take long for Quark to regret his decision to bring a piano into the bar when Rom took the opportunity to play his rendition of Billy Joel's "Piano Man".

Saturday, June 23, 2018


The evening came to an abrupt end when Morn, drunk from five straight bottles of Aldebaran whiskey, stuck a spoon to his forehead and started mocking Dukat.

Saturday, June 16, 2018

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Picard: "Yes! In the 24th century, they don't care whether you have hair or not!"

Saturday, June 9, 2018

Black Plague

Guinan: "Not only was it a senseless death, but you were killed by a mixture of black ink and Metamucel."

Saturday, June 2, 2018

Saturday, May 26, 2018

One-Track Mind

"HUMANS PLAY DAMJOT?"  "Sorry, we're playing pool."  "DAMJOT?"  "No…pool."  "DAMJOT."  *sigh*

Saturday, May 19, 2018

Mirror Mirror

"Illogical.  I just shaved, yet my reflection has a goatee?"

Saturday, May 12, 2018

Dental Hygiene

"Yes, your secondary mandibular canines are coming in quite nicely.  Just remember to keep brushing and flossing at least once a day."

Saturday, April 28, 2018

Smelly Situation

"Hold it.  Guys?  I thought I was supposed to be loading this thing with gunpowder and rocks.  These things look like little balls of poo. (pause)  Heyyyyy...wait a minute...."

Saturday, April 21, 2018

Invisible Dog on a Leash

Quark: "Can you believe it, Odo? They were practically GIVING these poor invisible dogs away at the Bajoran festival!"
Odo: "Quark, I think there's something you should really know...."

Saturday, April 14, 2018


Picard: "Tasha! You're... you're...."
Tasha: "Hold it, hold it! I know what you're all thinking.  No, I am NOT the limited edition 1701 Series Tasha Yar."

Saturday, April 7, 2018

Targ Trouble

"I'd really like it if someone else would clean up all the targ poop just for once!"

Saturday, March 31, 2018


Sarek: "I don't want to hear it."
Spock: "But father...."
Sarek: "Talk to the hand, Spock."

Saturday, March 24, 2018

Short Shot

Sisko: "Quick, Bashir! Shoot him!"
Bashir: "I'm trying, sir, but for some reason the phaser beam only shoots out two feet!"

Saturday, March 17, 2018

Cloning Around

Picard: "Number One, you have the bridge until we can find out what to do about this cloning problem."

Saturday, March 10, 2018


Zek: "Here, boy, let me show you a little trick.  Pull my finger!  C'mon, pull it...pull it!"

Saturday, March 3, 2018

Alternate ending for "Star Trek: Generations"

Riker: "I had always hoped I'd get a shot at this chair one day."
Picard: "Well, Will, it's your lucky day, because now it's all yours! Congratulations!"

Saturday, February 24, 2018

Trading Places

"No, we are NOT going to switch sides, Worf!  My Sleep Number® is a 40 and yours is an 80!"

Saturday, February 17, 2018


Doctor: "Next time, Mr. Neelix, you had better leave out that secret ingredient of yours when cooking for the crew."

Saturday, February 10, 2018

Skirt the Issue

"Bones, I hope these mini-skirt uniforms never go out of style!"

Saturday, February 3, 2018

Promoted to Unemployment

"WHAT? I finally get my own command, and then they announce the end of the Next Generation movies? What's up with THAT??"

Saturday, January 27, 2018

Color Correction

"Umm... thanks, Dad. I always wanted a... green... baseball glove."