Saturday, December 25, 2021

An Eternal Story

"But that's not all, Dathon! Then Sersi, Sprite, Ikaris and Kingo went to find the others, Gilgamesh and Thena, in Australia."
"Gilgamesh… and Thena… in Australia."

Saturday, December 18, 2021

Welcome to the Hotel Lwaxana

"Room 319? Going up two flights of stairs? It's a good thing this hotel has… oh, I'm sorry Commander Riker! With that get-up you have on, I thought you were the bellhop!"

Saturday, December 11, 2021

Kirk Figure

"Kirk-Figure! You will disclose the information!"

Saturday, December 4, 2021

Dax Facts

Sela: "We agree to your terms to release your officer, but we are also holding others. Are you saying you want them released, too?"
Sisko: "Just the Dax, ma'am. Just the Dax."

Saturday, November 27, 2021

Fellowship of the Sling-Ring

"You know how I knew you were evil all along, Mordo? Add an R to your name and what do you get? MORDOR, the most evil place there is!"

Saturday, November 20, 2021

It Was Nineteen Eighty-something, and….

"Wait, M.O.D.O.K.! We didn't come to fight! Cap and I were just wondering if we could get your autograph. We're big fans of your narrative work on The Goldbergs."

Saturday, November 13, 2021

Hey, Big Guy

Natasha: "Hey big guy. The sun's getting real low."
Hulk: "Wait, Hulk seen this before. Hulk doing Vulcan pon farr with Natasha?"

Saturday, November 6, 2021

No, Your Blueness!

"Okay, I have to agree with Quill on this one. You're more of a Smurf, Nebula, and she's more of a Blue Meanie."

Saturday, October 30, 2021

The Problem with Dewbacks

"Ugh… Frank, I just can't do it anymore. I'm not sitting on this thing one minute longer. It's back is all wet and it's soaking through my armor!"

Saturday, October 23, 2021

Saturday, October 16, 2021

The Manuscript of Boba Fett

"Come on, Fennec, help me write this book of mine! I'm being stopped by writer's block. How am I supposed to crank out a whole book in less than two months???"

Saturday, October 9, 2021


"I'm going to run to the restroom. Just order me the Chicken Lo-Mein, will you, Vader?"
"Order 66 again? Doesn't that joke ever get old for you?"

Saturday, October 2, 2021

Bounty Blunder

Boba Fett: "You mean to tell me that I was sent all the way out here for a bounty on a Gungan, and it turned out to be you, Binks? Ugh… talk about your damaged goods."

Saturday, September 25, 2021

Sticking to Their Gunns

"So how do we earn the respect of all? We earn it by banding together and getting a great movie out of it! All together now, say it with me: James! Gunn! James! Gunn!"

Saturday, September 18, 2021

Everybody Chill

Robin: "You're defeated, Mr. Freeze! Now just sit down there and wait for the authorities to come get you."
Freeze: "I would comply with your request, but it would seem that my legs are frozen. No, I'm not joking! I only have three points of articulation."

Saturday, September 11, 2021

Super Critics

Superman: "At least this movie wasn't as bad as Batman and Robin."
Aquaman: "Dude, that movie was so bad, I rented it and walked out of my own house."

Saturday, September 4, 2021

Particle Man, Doing the Things a Particle Can

Flash: "So, Atom, can I ask you a question? Say you're as small as a particle, kind of like a particle-man. When you're underwater, do you get wet? Nobody knows!"

Saturday, August 28, 2021

Time Cubed

Picard: "I'm on the bridge, Lieutenant La Forge. Where else would I be?"
Geordi: "You're also in shuttlecraft Goddard, and you're just sitting in it like some kind of lame action figure."

Saturday, August 21, 2021

The Wisdom of Rom

Rom: "It's like I said, brother. Ferrengi ears are good for two things: Oo-mox and cracking safes! But doing them at the same time is very distracting."

Saturday, August 14, 2021

Too Much of a Good Thing is Wonderful

They never would have expected it if they hadn't seen for themselves, but it was discovered that Koloth was actually a huge fan of the 20th century Earth entertainer, Liberace.

Saturday, August 7, 2021

Circle of Pain

They all agreed that the time paradox needed to be corrected in order to save the universe. Therefore, in order for each Spock to get back to his own timeline, it was necessary for them to all be unconscious simultaneously. Logically, they all knew what needed to be done.

Saturday, July 31, 2021


Thor: "Let me get this straight. So Captain Marvel here brings in Ms. Marvel to the group? Just how many other Marvel people are around here???"

Saturday, July 24, 2021

Damaged Goods

 "Alright, here you go, Steve. You might want to buff some of that out, by the way."

Saturday, July 3, 2021

Saturday, June 26, 2021

Capeless Whispers

Lando: "Yes, I'm feeling a bit naked tonight, but earlier some little lady on base who was wearing big round glasses smacked me upside the head and told me 'No capes!' Well, who was I to argue?"

Saturday, June 19, 2021

No Fortune for Fortuna

Boba Fett: "Heyyy, Bib. You can trust meeee! We're just going to take a little walk outside and get some fresh air. The balcony is a good place for that being, what, five stories up? Am I right, or am I right?"

Saturday, June 12, 2021


Luke: "Wow! Wedge, the Princess just kissed me! I wish I wasn't so sweet."
Wedge: "You are like cinnamon!"

Saturday, June 5, 2021

Saturday, May 29, 2021

Boys Will Be Boys

Aquaman: "No, no, man. It's all good. I'm taking Flipper here from the marine aquarium and bringing him back to the ocean where he belongs. I know it'll work 'cause I saw it done on this show called 'The Boys.'"
Robin: "You didn't actually watch the full episode, did you, Arthur?"

Saturday, May 22, 2021

An Uncomfortable Place

Riddler: "Hey… waaaaait a minute. I know who you are! You're that jerk from Fashionable Male in the Eden Prairie Mall! Oh please don't tell me the Batmobile is a Volkswagen!"

Saturday, May 15, 2021

Beebo Fever

Aquaman: "Victor, you have to stop him! Ray is about to pay scalper prices on eBay for a Beebo doll! A freaking DOLL! Do something!!!"

Saturday, May 8, 2021

No Time for Crying

"There, there, Diana. Since the movie has not been very well received, I'm sure we can get you a gold WW84 winged costume on clearance in no time."

Saturday, May 1, 2021

Wandering Eyes

"Billy, don't you be looking at me like that. I'm still a few years older than you are, you know."

Saturday, April 24, 2021

Butter Be Sure

Butters: "I don't have to answer to you, Mr. Garrison! I'm Professor Chaos, and I answer to no one!"

Saturday, April 17, 2021

About that latest episode….

The REAL reason South Park season 24 took so long in between episodes.

Saturday, April 10, 2021


Unfortunately, Mr, Garrison received two sets of COVID vaccine shots at once since it wasn't realized that Mr. Hand was indeed his hand puppet and not an actual person.

Saturday, April 3, 2021

Who Is Mysterion?

While waiting for the bus, it suddenly became clear to Stan, Kyle and Cartman who Mysterion really was.

Saturday, March 27, 2021

So Innocent

Data: "Tasha, I apologize, but I do not understand your request of me. How does one enjoy engaging in combat while being nude in a tub of Jell-O?"

Saturday, March 20, 2021

Getting Older

Picard: "Yes, yes! The Devron System!" (long pause) "Wait, why were we going there again? I tell you, Will, getting old sucks."

Saturday, March 13, 2021

I'll Have What She's Having

Seven: "Ensign Kim, I don't know where you believe this lunch date is going, but this will NOT be an instance of 'When Harry Met Seven.'"

Saturday, March 6, 2021

Klingon Translation

Spock:  "Commander Uhura, I find it highly illogical that you've been the highest ranking communications officer on the Enterprise for many years, yet you never learned the Klingon language. I could only hope that a parallel universe version of yourself would be more fluent."

Saturday, February 27, 2021

Iron Swipe

"Bruuuuuce? Who said you could take my Hulkbuster suit again?"

Saturday, February 20, 2021

Dye Job

"Okay, fine. I wasn't sure it it was you at first, Natasha, but you understood all of my blond jokes so I guess I'll come with you."

Saturday, February 13, 2021

Iron Spider

"This new suit is so cool, Mr. Stark! Does it have that sexy Karen A.I. in it, too? She sounded so hot!"
"My God, I've created a monster...."

Saturday, February 6, 2021

Shield vs Shield

"This is a shield? No offense, but I'll just go with the old one, T'Challa."

Saturday, January 30, 2021

Unmellow Yellow

"Oh my God, it's happening, isn't it? It's happening! We're starting to 'yellow'! I... I did everything I could, Frank. For years I kept out of sunlight, stayed away from smokers, and kept myself in a cool, dark place. It's all for nothing, wasn't it? WASN'T IT???"

Saturday, January 23, 2021


Walrus Man: "Hammerhead, Snaggletooth, Squidhead and Yak Face, it's time we protest against the blatant racism people use in calling us these names. It’s time we use our real names: Momaw Nadon, Zutton, Ponda Baba, Tessek, and Saelt-Marae!"

Saturday, January 16, 2021

Rocket Man

"C'mon, do it! I dare you! Ask me one more time if my rocket fires from my backpack, and I'll throw the whole damn thing at you!"