Saturday, December 31, 2022

Happy New Year!

"Captain, look who has come aboard to join us for our New Year's Eve party tonight! Isn't it nice to see my mother again?"

Saturday, December 24, 2022

I Have a Little Jumja

"Dad, look what Nerys got me! I didn't know she even knew about Hanukkah traditions."
"Jake, son, that's not a dreidel. That's a jumja stick, and you're holding it upside down."

Saturday, December 17, 2022

Case Closed

"Here's to another case solved! Except I'm not giving you any Champagne, Data. I don't want to be dealing with a drunk android ever again after what you did the last time."

Saturday, December 10, 2022

Astute Diagnosis

"Only one week aboard the Enterprise, and already Dr. McKennah has diagnosed me as a sex maniac with delusions of godhood. Can you believe that?"
"I told you she was good, Jim!"

Saturday, December 3, 2022

Fly Her Apart, Then!

"Congratulations on your promotion and new assignment, Captain Sulu. Take good care of the Excelsior, and try not to fly her apart."

Saturday, November 26, 2022


"Well, count me out. I'm off to go find Korg, some beers and an X-BOX."

Saturday, November 19, 2022

Big Gun

"Let me explain it one more time, Rhodey. You have a big gun, but you're not the big gun."

Saturday, November 12, 2022

Sooner Than Later

"Nope, not going to happen, Sam. You can have the shield someday when I'm old and gray."

Saturday, November 5, 2022


"But how, Gamora? How do you keep finding me while playing hide-and-seek if I keep turning myself invisible?"

Saturday, October 29, 2022

Bad to the Bone

Boba enjoyed his new pastime of policing the streets of Mos Espa, riding his Rancor while having any lawbreaker eaten on site.

Saturday, October 22, 2022

Cuts Like a Knife

"Last chance! Give me the Darksaber, Gideon, before it falls into the hands of some quack that will probably cut himself with it."

Saturday, October 15, 2022

Breathe Better, Live Better

"Actually, Jyn, it's a built-in CPAP machine. All I do is fill up my pouch with distilled water, and I have a more relaxing sleep than I've ever had before."

Saturday, October 8, 2022

Blue Man

After the fall of the Empire, Thrawn tried to make an honest living as part of an intergalactic touring music group for which he fit in quite well.

Saturday, October 1, 2022

Saturday, September 24, 2022

He'll Be Back

"Well, since you already used the Locutus of Borg costume idea last year, how about going to next month's Halloween party as a Terminator T-800? Just throw on some jeans, t-shirt and leather jacket. Oh, and don't forget the shades!"

Saturday, September 17, 2022

An Overdue Observation

"I don't know yet who she really is, Robin, but she keeps shushing me when she's reading and is always bugging me about renewing my library card."

Saturday, September 10, 2022

Thanks For All the Fish

"Thanks for coming down here and visiting, Tomar-Re.
Neither Hal nor John ever make the effort for me." *sob*

Saturday, September 3, 2022

There's Always Room for Jell-O

"So, what are these things supposed to be, Billy?"
"They're supposed to be physical manifestations of the seven deadly sins,
but they just kinda look like little Jell-O monkey-things to me."

Saturday, August 27, 2022

Timeless Good Taste

"So, Admiral Kirk. What do you think… of my new outfit? I constructed it out of rich corinthian leather!"

Saturday, August 20, 2022

He could save you 15% or more

"Guys, I'm a Gorn, not a gecko. And I don't know a thing about car insurance. You've got the wrong lizard!"

Saturday, August 13, 2022

Eat Them Up - Yum!

"I know your species are fish-eaters, Mordock, but I guess I should have told you that the Captain's fish in his ready-room was off-limits."

Saturday, August 6, 2022


"Jim, just let him do it. Either Lt. Kaplan dies of his terminal illness, or we let him beam down in a red shirt."

Saturday, July 30, 2022

Food for Thought

"Can we eat him, Eddie? He looks so tasty and colorful…."
"Haven't you had enough to eat today, Venom?"
"I… think I'll just sit over here and let you sort things out in your internal monologue, guy."

Saturday, July 23, 2022

When You're Feeling Blue…

"Nebula! Yondu! You two should totally come back down to Earth with me! There's this musical group down there that consists of blue people, and you would fit right in!"

Saturday, July 16, 2022

Go the **** to Sleep

"No! Hulk not WANT to go to sleep… Not without bed-time story!"

Saturday, July 9, 2022

Evel Intent

Steve decided to take some of his post-Snap free time trying to be the modern-day Evel Knievel.

Saturday, July 2, 2022

Chronic Pain

It was at that very moment when Scott realized that he had made a terrible mistake showing Kamala the Bluntman & Chronic fight scene with Mark Hamill in "Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back".

Saturday, June 25, 2022


"Now look what you did, Mando. You made it feel bad. If you're going to compare it to a regular ol' coffee maker, you could have at least upgraded your insult to an espresso unit."

Saturday, June 18, 2022

"Meetha Stuckth"

Things didn't go well for Jar Jar during his Hoth Vacation Tour.

Saturday, June 11, 2022

Catchphrase Argument

"I have spoken."
"This is the way."
"I said, I have spoken."
"But... this is the way!"

Saturday, June 4, 2022

A Flashy Reply

"For the last time, Thrawn, where's Ezra?!"
"Ezra… Miller? I think you just missed him, my dear. Go back a few weeks' worth of Figures Inaction postings and you'll find him there."

Saturday, May 28, 2022

Maury! Maury! Maury!

"I have to admit, Commander, I feel like I'm on a Maury Povich tabloid talk show. 'Who is the father of Seska's child? The upstanding Starfleet officer or the Kazon antogonist? Stay tuned!'"

Saturday, May 21, 2022

No Time for Oo-mox

"I know we're undercover, and I'll make it as convincing as I can, Jean-Luc, but I draw the line at giving to you what looks like oo-mox."

Saturday, May 14, 2022

On the Other Hand….

"Please state the nature of the medical emergen… HOLY CRAP!"
"Yeah, I had a little trouble in the transporter, Doctor."

Saturday, May 7, 2022

What Time Is It?

"They say time is the fire in which we burn, Captain."
"I know the Time, Soran. Riker and I have modeled our whole lives around Morris Day and Jerome!"

Saturday, April 30, 2022

A Cold Substitution

"Sorry Flash. Captain Cold couldn't make it due to prior commitments, so tonight I'll be substituting in for all your freezing needs!"

Sunday, April 24, 2022


What can a Patreon membership to Flaming Death Productions be used for? At the Pilot Light level, that's only $2/month or $24/year which is about how much one Star Wars Black Series figure costs for use in Figures Inaction. It could also cover the cost of the FDP website for one year. Just think of what could be done at the Campfire or Raging Fire membership levels! Your membership would be greatly appreciated!

Saturday, April 23, 2022

Who's There?

"Hey, wait a minute! Knock Knock…. Oh c'mon, Batsy! Let me do a knock-knock joke! I'm the Joker, so that's what I do!"

Saturday, April 16, 2022


"I mean, if you're really worried about pregnancy, Diana, it's still possible to make it work between us. My mallrat friend Brodie has this idea…."

Saturday, April 9, 2022

And knowing is half the battle

"It's an important lesson to learn, Robin. Making fun of someone for any reason is never smart."
"Gee, Superman, now I know!"

Saturday, April 2, 2022

How Slap-Happy Batman Started

Things took a turn for the worse at the annual Superheroes gala when Robin made an off-hand cringe-worthy joke about Bruce's parents.

Saturday, March 26, 2022

Multiversal Quandary

"Wanda, what do you know about the multiverse?"
"Multiverse? I don't know anything about any multiverse. Why do you ask?"

Saturday, March 19, 2022


"Yep, my buddy Thor and I want back into the ring, except we want PS4 gear so we can show our real skills and beat up some noobs in Fortnite."

Saturday, March 12, 2022


"Wait just a minute. I thought my partner was supposed to be Aquafina, not Aquaman!"

Saturday, March 5, 2022

A Sight for Sore (Hawk)Eye

"Yeah yeah, laugh it up. The costume idea wasn't mine. Some kid put me up to it, and now I'm really regretting it."

Saturday, February 26, 2022

Call Waiting

"NOOOO! Not the Razor Crest! … Uhh … I don't suppose you can do that Jedi SOS thing you just did and call us a ride, can you?"

Saturday, February 19, 2022

I am vengeance! I am the night! I am Mando!

"I won't kill you... but I don't have to save you."
"You can't be serious! You can't throw some wacky Batman line at me, Mando!"

Saturday, February 12, 2022

Good Greef, Charlie Brown!

"That's some opinionated kid you got there, Mando. After healing my arm up from that blaster hit, all he said was 'Good grief!'"
"You sure he didn't say 'Good, Greef?'"

Saturday, February 5, 2022

Great Value

"Sorry kid, but Girl Scout cookies won't be around for another week. It's either Great Value knock-offs, or nothing."

Saturday, January 29, 2022

The Mando, the Moff, and the Greef

Greef: "Down with Moff Gideon! The Force is with us because it hates the Empire, too!"
Mando: "The Force is not with us 'cause it hates idiots, also."