Saturday, September 30, 2023

Unhealthy Obsession

"GIVE…ME…YOUR…JELLY BABIES! JELLY BABIEEEEEES!!!"

Saturday, September 23, 2023

The Relative Ejection Position

"Umm... I ejected, but I don't know where my Invisible Jet went down. Let me know when you find it!"

Saturday, September 16, 2023

Damn Fine

"Gee, Batman. We should do crime-fighting over here in Twin Peaks more often. The cherry pie is delicious, but this coffee is damn fine!"

Saturday, September 9, 2023

Airline Biohazard

"That's it, Arthur, no more flying in the Invisible Jet for you! I don't know what you ate beforehand, but all people could see when I landed was myself, you, and a flying puddle of poo!"

Saturday, September 2, 2023

Nip It in the Bud

"Don't do it, Barry! You could change the timeline significantly if you go back in time to save your mother. And I swear, if you mess things up and I get George Clooney bat-nipples, you deserve all of the hell you'll run into."

Saturday, August 26, 2023

The Name of the Doctor

"Maybe you could just call yourself Richard, because every ship has its Tom, Dick and Harry on board."

Saturday, August 19, 2023

The Ross-Rachel Factor

"T'Pring, may I remind you, you SAID we were taking a break. It would be illogical for you to use my short-lived relationship with Christine as an excuse to 'break up' with me."

Saturday, August 12, 2023

Ranking Confidence

"If you'd just apply yourself, Harry, maybe you'll be a captain some day. Take Seven, there. With the confidence she has, she'll probably make captain before you do."

Saturday, August 5, 2023

We Don't Talk About Burnham

"Okay, Spock. First I was led to believe you were an only child. Then it comes out that you have a half-brother. And now you're telling me you have an adopted sister??? Anyone else in your family you haven't told me about yet?"

Saturday, July 29, 2023

Deadly Game of Catch

Flynn had told Tron about the sport of frisbee, however it was met with disastrous results when played in the Grid since anyone he threw his disk to was derezzed.

Saturday, July 22, 2023

Temporarily Deceased

"I'm so sorry, Kamala. But look on the bright side. You will most likely get resurrected in a couple of months because that's just what we do in comics."

Saturday, July 15, 2023

Recruitment

"Hey Mr. Affleck, that is you in there, isn't it? How would you like to die in my movie, too? I'm already planning on killing off your ex-wife's Electra."

Saturday, July 8, 2023

Dog Pound

"M'Baku, stop! Enough with the barking! This is not the Arsenio Hall Show and you are not in the 'Dog Pound'!"

Saturday, July 1, 2023

Bigger on the Inside

"Strange, is this one of your gadgets? There's a whole different realm within this magic blue box!"

Saturday, June 24, 2023

Smarter Than the Average Wampa

"Whoa, hey there Mr. Big Guy with the glowy light stick! I only put you up there so the blood would rush to your head and help you regain consciousness. What, did you think I was going to eat you or something?"

Saturday, June 17, 2023

Hard Core Carnivores

"(OMG, I'm gonna die! OMG! OMG!...) Hiiiii there, little guys! I'm just your friendly neighborhood Imperial biker scout. No need to be alarmed. I'm just skin and bones underneath this armor, so nothing to eat here, right? Right???"

Saturday, June 10, 2023

Priorities

"What? No, Dak. Sorry, but you're a goner. I'm just trying to get my gear and get out of here before that walker comes. No use both of us being crushed, right?"

Saturday, June 3, 2023

Smack!

"Oh, here's one I bet you haven't heard, Cassian: What did the five fingers say to the face? Give up? Cassian?"

Saturday, May 27, 2023

Knot Again

"Don't worry, Batman. I'm leaving you a little gift since it appears you three have now 'tied the knot'.
Ha ha ha ha!"
"Ugh... If I was actually able to move out of this human knot right now, I'd be facepalming."

Saturday, May 20, 2023

Beware My Backup

"Wait a minute, John. What have you been telling everyone, that YOU were the GL who helped found the Justice League??? Dude, you were my backup replacement!"

Saturday, May 13, 2023

He Wears Short Shorts

"Yeah, I've gotten older, Tim. It's still a bit weird for me being Nightwing, but it's even weirder seeing you in the skimpy shorts I used to wear."

Saturday, May 6, 2023

A Caped Crusader

"Yes, Bruce, I have a cape now. I'm not going to be the only one around here without one, plus this outfit gets pretty darn chilly."

Saturday, April 29, 2023

Fun with Flatulence

"Please explain, Wesley. How does pulling the finger of a humanoid involuntarily produce a combination of nitrogen, oxygen, hydrogen, carbon dioxide, methane and hydrogen sulfide?"

Saturday, April 22, 2023

Alrighty then!

"Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up. It's Lt. Joe Carey, not Jim Carrey. And don't ask me to talk out of my butt."

Saturday, April 15, 2023

Confess! Confess! Confess!

"Yes, Saru, I incapacitated Captain Georgiou, and yes I mutinied and took command of the U.S.S. Shenzhou, but I wasn't expecting the Spanish Inquisition!"
"Not so loud! They might just actually show up when you say it like that!"

Saturday, April 8, 2023

Ah, Paris

"You may think I look disgusting now, Captain, but I bet after taking a little shuttle ride with me that I'm going to look a lot more attractive to you."

Saturday, April 1, 2023

Re-Released

"Yes, Captain. It would appear that this is in fact us, but it is us from the future. We have been updated!"

Saturday, March 25, 2023

Swap Meet

"Yes, Jane, I'm asking for a trade. In exchange for Mjolnir, I'll give you my super-cool Stormbreaker. It's even partially made by a tree-friend's arm he donated to it. One of a kind!"

Saturday, March 18, 2023

Domino Effect

"Oh, way to go, Domino! You just had to live up to your name, didn't you?"

Saturday, March 11, 2023

Why They Changed It, I Can't Say

"Stark, I'll start by finding the Hydra base in Constantinople."
"Istanbul, Thor, not Constantinople, and before you ask, that's nobody's business but the Turks."

Saturday, March 4, 2023

Free Wheelin'

"Hulk, sorry, but this isn't going to work out. Can't you just run or jump to the mission instead?"

Saturday, February 25, 2023

Raise the Bar

"No, Chewie! You're going to have to duck to get into the Falcon just like everyone else. I'm not spending thousands of credits to add to the landing gears just so you don't have to do the limbo into the ship!"

Saturday, February 18, 2023

Snowbound

"Can't believe we're out here in the friggin' snow on Hoth to track down these rogue Sandpeople!"
"You gotta admit though, Zuckuss, it's the perfect planet for them to hide. No sand!"

Saturday, February 11, 2023

Grogu's Song

"One more lesson for today: Teaching you how to sing your song!
'La la la la, La la la la, Grogu's Song! La la la la, La la la la, Grogu's Song….'"

Saturday, February 4, 2023

We All Scream For…

"Yes, your prize. Here you go: Willrow Hood's famous ice cream maker. Enjoy!"

Saturday, January 28, 2023

Moon of the Darkseid

"If you will NOT surrender to me, Kryptonian, I will give you a 'full moon' and you'll be sorry!"

Saturday, January 21, 2023

Bob the Goon

"Batman? You defeated Batman, you say? That's not Batman. That's Robin! Bob, sometimes you can be such a goon…."

Saturday, January 14, 2023

Suit Checkers

"Your name is Black Adam? Well then, hello! My name is Red Shazam!"

Saturday, January 7, 2023

Warranting an Investigation

"Wait… yes…YES, Batman, I'm receiving an encrypted message! They're trying to reach you... about your Batmobile's extended warranty! Ha ha ha!"