Where Everybody Knows Your Name

"Of course those were glasses of Romulan Ale we were drinking! Don't you know anything about bartending, Lt. Saavik?!"

Happy Holidays!

Reformed Gorn

"And that's not all! Looky what he can do!"

No Tribble at All

Weeks later, the Klingons would still get together and sing songs about the "Great Tribble Hunt."

Door Jam

"OOF!!!...Someone...open...the...*ack!*...turbolift...doors!"

Phaser Settings

"I'm setting my phaser on Tickle."

As Seen on TV

"And that's not all! It also slices and dices...even through this tin can! How do you get all these fantastic items? Just call now and say 'Assimilate me!' It's that easy!"

Colonoscopy

"Dammit, Nurse Chapel! I said I wanted a 'butt light', not a Bud Light!"

Run Away

"Coward!"

Halloween Ghost Fail

Barclay: "I had a little trouble with the scissors...."

In brightest day….

Troi then discovered the REAL reason Riker wanted to shave off his beard.

Pumpkin Carving

"Worf, we are NOT carving a pumpkin with a bat'telh! Now go get me a REAL knife, would you?"

Bobbing for Apples

Beverly: "Okay, everyone gather around for apple bobbing!  That is, everyone but you, Jean-Luc. With all that wiring on your head, I wouldn't want you to get electrocuted."

Inspection

"What are you people wearing?! The Admiral is here for an inspection, not another costume party!"

Domo Arigato, Mr. Mugato

The crew was impressed with Mugatu's performance, although they thought he went a bit overboard when he changed the lyrics of "Mr. Roboto" to "Mr. Mugato".

Ilia: Action Figure

"…organic polymers, inorganic compounds, stabilizing additives.... My God, Jim! She's made of plastic!"

Revoked!

"That's it, young man! Your viewscreen privileges are being revoked as of this moment! No one is allowed to 'surf the web' on this screen!"

Well, actually it was…

"Give me back my VISOR! That's not a hair clip, you know!"

Qapla'!

Riker finally lost his long-lasting reign of the Annual Enterprise Squirt Gun War to a more cunning warrior.

Rip It Good!

"Good Lord, Will! Your uniform is in shreds! Was it the Nausican in the bar?"
"No, even better! Deanna in her quarters!"

Jumping the Shark

Geordi and Data were later reprimanded for using the shuttlecraft purely for water-skiing purposes.

Greening

"Uh oh...Beverly, I don't know what kind of sunblock you used, but you didn't tan. You greened!"

Bad Spot!

"Mr. Data, I want that cat of yours in a holding cell! I will not tolerate hairballs on my bridge!"

Petting Zoo

Worf: "No, child. You may NOT pet me. I am not a part of this exhibit!"

Klingon Vacation

During the Dominion War, the Klingons took some relaxation time every now and then by playing 18 holes of golf on Bajor.

Maybe Not

"AHHH! NOOOOO!"
"We are the Borg. Resistance is futile. Your biological distinctiveness will be added to our own.... On second thought, nevermind."

Travelers

Wes: "Since I'm now a Traveler like you, do I get a pair of space jammies, too?"
Traveler: "Wesley...."

Mudd's Kirks

Unfortunately for him, Harry Mudd escaped planet Mudd and the multiple android copies of his ex-wife Stella only to be stuck again on a ship with multiple android copies of Captain Kirk.

Soap Box

"Doctor, you're telling me that you missed the senior staff meeting because you were watching your 'soap'???"

Bachelor Party

Things started getting out of hand at Rom's bachelor party after Grand Nagus Zek had a bit too much to drink and started dancing with the stripper.

Got Milk?

The Gorn and Morn Comedy Show

Having become the hit of the Promenade, the "Gorn and Morn Comedy Show" was destined to be a traveling success.

Voyager: Lost in Space

The reason for Barclay's obsession to try to save Voyager suddenly became obvious to Troi when she walked in and found him sobbing while watching an episode of "Lost In Space."

A Game of Chess

Never play 3-D chess with a Jem'Hadar.

Oooof!

And that was the last time Dukat ever insulted Major Kira without first wearing his Obsidian Order Sports Cup™.

It's a Trap!

Toasting the new Federation and Romulan alliance, Sisko suddenly noticed the significance of the statue that Garak had given his Romulan guest.

Poker Rage

After losing 20 straight hands, Worf ended poker night in a fit of rage.

Flying Blind

"Good Lord.... Doesn't Scotty ever clean the windows on this thing? You can't see a thing through them!"

Diagnosis: Pig

Doctor: "Well, we should have all known that if Mr. Paris ever contracted the Barclay Disease, he would end up de-evolving into a pig."

Desperate Measures

Tom Riker barely managed to keep himself alive during the Dominion War only by becoming a Cardassian entertainment icon.

Garak's Challenge

"Garak, I really need your help as a tailor. Could you find some decent clothes for my friend here? He looks like a Neanderthal with these furs and cheap clothing.  Let me know when you're finished because he also has an appointment with Dr. Bashir to do something about his horrible posture and grotesque grin."

Captain's Toupee

"Hikaru! Look! It's the Captain's toupee!"
"Well, I wonder why he left it down...hold on. Pavel, it's just a tribble."

Bad Morn

After receiving a punishment of 20 days of public service for making prank calls to Sisko's office, Morn's daily chore was to empty all of the trash cans on the Promenade.

Pulaski's End

Beverly laughed after she had pushed Dr. Pulaski into the open turbolift shaft. She could now retake her position as the Enterprise's chief medical officer. Somehow, though, she couldn't help but wonder if something like this had happened before.

Playtime

For some reason, every time the Klingons got together to play with their Birds of Prey, Gowron's always ended up being the first one destroyed.

Date Night

It wasn't often that Jean Luc and Vash spent time alone, but when they did they always rented the same movie that captured their mutual interest of archaeology.

Reunion

"So let me get this straight, Scotty. You were going to retire, ran into some trouble, put yourself in a transporter buffer for 75 years, and haven't aged a day? That's not very damn fair."

Why so serious?

In Harry Mudd's later years, he found himself in charge of a traveling circus. Although the help was often well-mannered, he always seemed to have a bit of trouble with his star clown.

Mmmm...Brains!

"Heeeellloooo, will you beeee staying for luuuunch?"

Two Faced

Quark: "Sorry sir. I don't know what kind of two-faced over-sized currency you're using, but we only use gold-pressed latinum around here."